Red Alert's Med Bay
by Shath
Summary: [Armada] The chaos that ensues in Red Alert’s med bay one day, and the mess he’s left to clean up courtesy of Starscream, Jetfire, Hotshot and Sideswipe. Part 2 added for the other Autobots. Sequel is up, check my profile for it.
1. Chapter 1

**Red Alert's Med Bay ****(Armada) **

The chaos that ensues in Red Alert's med bay one day, and the mess he's left to clean up courtesy of Starscream, Jetfire, Hotshot and Sideswipe.

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It had been a particularly vicious battle with the Decepticons. It was simply mind-blowing that the Autobots actually ended up with the Minicon. Red Alert took a deep breath as he stood outside the med bay, and clenching his teeth, entered his usually clean and organised domain to face the damaged Autobots. It wasn't the amount of Autobots that was daunting; there were only three in need of immediate repairs, but rather the extent of the damage they had received.

Jetfire was sitting up on the first metal table, clearly upset at having lost part of one wing. He was holding said part in his arms, clutching it protectively. The rest of him was slightly battered, but nothing serious apart from a noticeable gash on his leg. Both his leg and wing were dripping fuel onto Red Alert's nice, clean floor. The medic quickly glanced over at his other patients to identify which would need tending to first.

Starscream was lying on his back on the table opposite Jetfire, with a rather nasty wound on his stomach that indicated there may be internal damage, and a few other wounds that needed tending to after the major damage was repaired. He looked a little dazed, and the fact that he was in the med bay in the first place without having been either coaxed or forced was worrying.

On the table further back, Sideswipe was nursing a few gashes and a cracked optic. His inhibited sight was worrying him, and he too was dripping fuel onto the recently cleaned floor. Ah well, at least Starscream, despite his wounds, was not making much of a mess, thought Red Alert as he stepped over some random fuel splotches that had been left by some of his patients when they had entered the med bay.

Hotshot and a few of the Minicons were sitting on another table, providing moral support for their injured comrades. "Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked. Red Alert was about to reply with a negative, before pausing and then requesting Hotshot hand him a tool he needed to start working on Starscream. Clearly pleased to help out, Hotshot grabbed the tool off the bench with vigour, accidentally knocking off two others in the process. With a sigh, Red Alert accepted the tool and started work. He could worry about the mess when he was finished.

While working on Starscream's major wound, the medic tried to ignore the commotion going on behind him. Sideswipe kept falling off the metal table despite Hotshot encouraging him to stay reasonably still, and each time Hotshot helped him back up he managed to knock something off somewhere, despite not being that close to the majority of tools. Jetfire was smothering chuckles as he watched all of this, setting the part of his wing on the bench beside him, making it dirty as well. Half way through Starscream grew restless, and suddenly decided he was going to be sick.

"Not on my clean floors you won't!" Red Alert exclaimed, clamouring for a container. Hotshot too helped look for one, and surprisingly grabbed it and handed it successfully to the medic without knocking anything over. On the next table, Sideswipe turned around to see what was going on, knocking over some tools in the process. But this wasn't the main concern. Red Alert had only just turned around, container in hand and feet already moving as fast as they could towards Starscream when the red jet leaned over the side of the table and hurled energon rather violently onto the now not very clean floor. By the time Red Alert had the container under Starscream's mouth, the jet was alright. Red Alert sighed as he stepped over the mess, and placed the empty container on the table beside Starscream.

The medic moved to a nearby bench to grab some cloths to place over the energon until he had time to properly clean it up when he heard Hotshot offer to take care of it for him. Unfortunately, Sideswipe chose this moment to distract Hotshot, who stopped looking where he was going and stood in the energon, slipping over and landing on his aft. Jetfire couldn't help but snigger as he made his way over to see if Starscream was alright.

Red Alert handed a cloth to Hotshot, who was grossing out over what was on his foot, and placed the other on the mess to hopefully prevent anyone else from repeating the yellow Autobot's mistake. Sideswipe fell off the metal table again. After helping Sideswipe back onto the table and asking in a rather tired voice for him to try and not move too much, Red Alert turned around to see that at least the others had gotten somewhere. Hotshot had cleaned his foot and wiped up most of the energon, and was now placing the soiled clothes in the sink. There were still marks on the floor, but Red Alert would deal with that later. Jetfire had returned to his table, and had the decency to look guiltily at the few drops of fuel he had left on the floor. Starscream had slipped into recharge.

Red Alert managed to fix the rest of Starscream's major wound without anything major happening behind him, stubbornly ignoring any scuffling or clanking sounds he heard. He turned around to see that things weren't going too poorly. A few tools had been knocked down, but most had been picked back up again. One or two seemed to be on the opposite side of the room to where they had started, and how they got there was a mystery to the medic. Regardless, Red Alert quickly examined Starscream for any more wounds, finding a few minor ones he would deal with later, and then moved onto Jetfire.

Things were going quite well for a while. Sideswipe did not fall off his table once while Red Alert was reattaching Jetfire's wing, and he had just finished with the shuttle's leg when he heard a sound that caused him to hesitate, dropping his tool as he did so. It was not a loud sound, only a soft click, but definitely unmistakable. He turned around in horror, quickly identifying the owner of the noise. Starscream's lower panel had clicked open.

"Do it, do it!" Jetfire egged on the sleeping jet, laughing at the look on Red Alert's face. "What's happening?" asked Sideswipe, promptly overbalancing and falling onto Hotshot, taking both of them to the floor. "Not in my med bay!" Red Alert shrieked, searching frantically for something, anything to help prevent even more mess.

Fortunately, the sudden swell of noise around him roused Starscream, and the jet's optics flickered online, and he promptly shut his panel as he awoke and slowly sat up. Rubbing his optics briefly, he looked at the chaos around him. The Minicons were in fits of laughter, directed more at Red Alert than Starscream, while Jetfire was looking disappointed that Starscream had woken and closed his panel.

"What did I miss?" Sideswipe asked as he and Hotshot made it back to their feet.

"Starscream was going to lubricate all over Red Alert's nice, clean, med bay floor," Jetfire explained with another laugh.

"Jetfire, please help Starscream," Red Alert appealed, nodding at the door to the next room. Starscream snorted, he was perfectly capable of getting there himself! He planted both feet firmly on the floor, and then almost followed them down before being caught by both Red Alert and Jetfire. Disgruntled, Starscream allowed Jetfire to help him.

Red Alert took a deep breath as he heard Jetfire remark, "I dare you to miss!" as he lead Starscream into the next room. The medic decided that Starscream was sensible enough to ignore the cheeky Autobot second in command, and decided to put Sideswipe out of his misery and repair his broken optic.

He had just finished with the optic when he heard the scuffle in the next room, and then Jetfire's shriek as the pair re-entered the med bay. "He lubricated on my foot!" "He asked for it. He wouldn't leave me alone!" Starscream retaliated, grabbing the nearby table for support as the shuttle was no longer helping him. "That's still no reason!" "Well if you'd stopped prodding me when I asked you to!" "My foot's all wet; I can't believe you did that! And it's on my leg too..." "I warned you, I told you I would do it if you didn't stop poking and pushing me!"

"ENOUGH!" Red Alert bellowed, causing Sideswipe to jump back into Hotshot, who managed to steady the both of them. "Did you get any on the floor?" The clearly stressed medic demanded. "No, just on him," Starscream said with a grin, pointing at Jetfire. "Good," Red Alert said, calming down. He grabbed a nearby cloth and threw it at Jetfire. "Clean up, then I want the two of you out of here once I've checked you both over."

After completing the minor repairs and checking over all three patients, as well as Hotshot and the Minicons, Red Alert ordered them all out of his med bay. As the last Autobot exited, Red Alert turned around to examine the damages to his med bay. A few tools were scattered over the floor, and a few more required cleaning. The tables would all need cleaning, naturally, and so would the floors which were covered in specks of fuel, smudges of regurgitated energon and a bit of lubricant that Jetfire had walked in. Just as Red Alert picked up the first tool, the med bay door opened behind him and Optimus Prime poked his head in.

"Are you ready to deal with the minor repairs on... what happened in here?" he asked, blue optics catching sight of the pink smudges beside what had been Starscream's table, and the suspicious-looking liquid near the other door. "Once the tables are cleaned, everyone needing minor repairs can come in and sit down, and if you all behave I'll tell you what happened," Red Alert said with a sigh, throwing a clean cloth from his dwindling supply into Prime's proffered hands.

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Poor Red Alert XD

Disclaimer: I do not own the Transformers or any of the characters mentioned in this story, they all belong to HasTak. This is fan fiction, not for profit etc.


	2. Chapter 2

**Red Alert's Med Bay ****– Part 2 **

Let the chaos continue. Red Alert explains the previous chaos to Optimus Prime, Hoist, Scavenger and Blurr, as they unintentionally create chaos on their own.

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"So, mind telling us what happened in here?" Hoist asked, a grin on his face as he saw patiently on the metal table, awaiting minor repairs. Red Alert had only had time to clean the tables and the tools he needed to use, so the floor was still in a state of chaos. "Were there any problems?" Optimus Prime asked, hoping that the younger Autobots had not caused Red Alert too many problems, although looking at the state of the med bay, the Autobot leader was not so sure.

"Where to start? Well, the fuel is from them moving around, and the tools on the floor were knocked over," Red Alert began. "What about those dents and smudges?" asked Blurr. "Sideswipe's optic was cracked. He kept falling off the metal table," Red Alert explained as he worked on Optimus Prime's minor injuries. This statement brought a round of chuckles. "I hope Hotshot wasn't too much trouble," Scavenger said, remembering that the yellow race car had been worried about his friends. "He was helpful at times. Most of the time he just knocked stuff off, but he helped Sideswipe up a few times," Red Alert admitted.

"What's that?" Blurr couldn't help ask, pointing to the pink smudges on the floor next to Prime's table.  
"Energon," Red Alert replied.  
"You spilt it?" Blurr asked.  
Red Alert shook his head and replied, "Starscream."  
"Why would Starscream be drinking Energon so soon, he had that stomach injury... that's not firsthand Energon, is it," Hoist said.  
"Nope," Red Alert replied coolly, ignoring the clang of Blurr falling off his table in surprise.

"Hey, the floor's wet here," Blurr said, shaking his foot as he stood up.  
At this, Red Alert did look up. "Oh, that? Jetfire was harassing Starscream," he said by way of explanation.  
"How does that explain the floor?" Hoist asked as he watched Blurr clamber back onto the table.  
"Starscream was in there, lubricating at the time. He wet Jetfire's foot when he didn't stop. Jetfire must have walked that in," Red Alert said, standing up straight to give Optimus Prime a once-over with his optics, then satisfied that he had repaired everything, moved on to Scavenger.  
"You mean, this is... lubricant?" Blurr asked, lifting his hand which was also wet.  
"Ha, you fell in Starscream's lubricant!" Hoist exclaimed as he tilted his head back and laughed heartily.

"Hoist," Optimus reprimanded in a more high-pitched voice than normal, clearly trying to suppress his own laughter when Blurr fell off the other side of his table.  
"Now that," Scavenger laughed, "is priceless!" He was not laughing when Blurr wiped his very wet hand onto Scavenger's now very wet back.  
"Blurr!" Scavenger roared, about to stand up and throttle him before jumping as Red Alert slammed his tool down onto the metal table.  
"ENOUGH!" the medic yelled for the second time that day. "Blurr, go in there and clean yourself up. Optimus, you may leave now, unless you wish to help clean up around here."

With a yelp, Blurr dashed into the next room, cloths in hand. Optimus Prime sighed while Hoist moved over to give Red Alert a comforting pat on the back. Optimus picked up the last of the clean cloths and started cleaning up the troublesome lubricant, then busied himself cleaning all of the soiled cloths. Taking a deep breath, Red Alert continued work silently, listening to the stifled chuckles, occasional complaints from Blurr who still had not gotten over what he had fallen in, and clanking of tools that, when he turned around, had seemed to make it to the floor on their own.

And then, when it seemed like everything was quietening down and just about everything had be done, Scavenger couldn't help pipe up, "so is it true that Starscream opened his panel in here?" This sent the various Minicons awaiting minor repairs tumbling to the floor, beeping with laughter, and a good few clean tools with them.

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Sorry about the poor formatting on the previous chapter, it messed up the spacing when I uploaded. Ah well, I think I've fixed this one up.

This is for OptimusxElite4Ever, the first reviewer of chapter 1, who told me to write more, so I did. I thought I would expand this to chapter 2 to cover all of the Armada Autobots before writing other stories. Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Transformers or any of the characters mentioned in this story, they all belong to HasTak. This is fan fiction, not for profit etc.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sequel**

Good news, there is going to be a sequel to Red Alert's Med Bay!! Yay! It's going to be called Red Alert's Med Bay 2 – The Vacation. It will probably be 3-4 chapters long, and I will be posting the first chapter within the next few days.

It features craziness with all of the Armada Autobots once more, with tripping and jam and falling and lower panels and marmalade! Jetfire gets up to plenty of mischief, but receives his just desserts once more. Will Hotshot drop things? Will Sideswipe fall off his metal table? Will Jetfire poke Starscream incessantly? Will someone fall over the Minicons? You bet they will! Let the chaos continue in poor Red Alert's Med Bay!

Here's a sneak peek, the first paragraph of Chapter 1:

There was a stagnant pause.  
"We're going where?!" Blurr asked.  
"We're going on vacation. The kids thought it would be a wonderful idea, and I agree that we need to get away for a little while," Optimus Prime said joyfully.  
"Where did you have in mind, Optimus?" Red Alert asked, hoping it would be nice and safe. For some reason, he didn't think he was going to be getting much vacation time in personally.  
"We're going on a cruise to an island! Alexis suggested it," Carlos replied, dancing in glee with the other kids.  
"...cruise?" Starscream repeated, instantly disliking the idea.  
"Yeah, on a boat!" Fred clarified unnecessarily.

Next time on Red Alert's Med Bay!


End file.
